I lost my last cat, Shin-Chan. He died this morning around 10 morning. And I thought I could still see him after office. Since my BF kept telling me he was still alive.

Not to blame him caused when Dr. Jonathan called him this morning, he didn't really say that Shin-Chan has gone. He kept talking about the blood count. But when I went there just now, Dr. Jonathan said, Shin-Chan died right before he called my BF.

I don't know how shall I feel. Sad? Of course I'm sad but I couldn't cry. Relief? A bit, caused he didn't suffer anymore. But I do feel empty. For the first time ever, I can just leave all doors in my house open. I do feel empty. No one's waiting for me when I'm home. No meow, no nothing.

I missed all of them. Akane, Fly, Cuddy, Mikey and of course Shin-Chan.