I thought I would be OK. I know I was really, really mad yesterday. But I tried not to show it too much, tried to keep to myself. I did tell my husband about it, but I don't think I have told him everything, I mean how did I feel, etc, etc. I did cry when I called him, but I have not let all out.
I noticed something wrong with me since yesterday evening. It seems like, my mind and my body were not communicating to each very well. I still didn't talk much about it. I know it did bother me a lot. I thought I would be fine.
This morning, when I woke up, as I was petting Ayumi, I was still OK. Until Ayumi, as usual, suddenly jump (I have no clue what makes her jump) and scratched my hand. It was really, really painful and I started yelling at her. I know she was so scared of me at that time. And things are getting worst. I realized that I could not find my husband's socks. Not even a piece. I remember he told me I sent only 4 pairs of socks to the laundry. But I found out that, there were none of them in the laundry bag. He had one pair yesterday and that's it.
I started to worry. But he said that's all right. He can still use yesterday's one. OK then. I thought of ironing his pants and my tudung before shower. I was still thinking about the socks at that time and my hand was really painful. I almost cried. Daammmnn!! I burnt my husband's the one and only working pants. I was panicked and started to cry. And I could not stop crying at all. I feel like I'm sooo useless. Can't even iron a pair of pants, I can' find my husband's socks. I really don't feel good.
I asked him to send me to see Dr. Naza. At least to dress the wound. It really hurts. I was still crying. I only stop when I reached the clinic. It was like a magic. When I saw her name on the door, I felt sooo much better. I was more calmer. Unfotunately, there were lots of patients today at the clinic. So I couldn't talk much with Dr. Naza. I don't know. Everytime I feel bad or sick, I will feel better after seeing her. Sometimes I don't think I need any medicine from her, just need to talk to her and I will feel better. Thanks Doc. I hope you will not quit your job. We do need you.
I don't know how many times have I watched the series. First of all I'm a big fan of Takuya Kimura and second of all I love the story. It's just another typical Takuya's character. Being a cold person but he wanted to love and to be loved.
I just finished watching the series. Well, while waiting for my hubby to finish work.
Well, I cried again. It seems like every time I watch this drama, I would cry. But this time, for different reason. Before, I cried because I know how Aki felt. Well, I was waiting for someone but unlike Aki, I didn't know who was that person. I was lonely. I have no one except my sister, my mom and my Lisa. I broke-up with my boyfriend for almost 3 years that time. I cried every time I watched Aki and how I wished I could find someone like Halu. Was he romantic? May be! But I think lots of people would associate romantic with flowers or proposed the girl on his knees or I don't know. But I do love the way Halu treated Aki, the way he looked at Aki, and asking Aki to watch him during the games so he would be better than usual, etc, etc. I just love that. That's really show how Aki's present means so much to him. Isn't that something? Don't you feel great when someone told you "I would do anything for you, just for you. I will feel stronger if you were there for me. I will do things better if I have you beside me"? For me that's even better than an expensive bouquet of flowers.
But today, I can't help crying again. This time I was touched by few things. It feels like I could see this story from different angle. This is not just a love story. It tells a lot about friendship, about team spirit, about ego, about hard work, about leadership. I'm touched with how closed Halu, Yamato, Tomo and Makoto were. How they supported each other.
Hmm.. what's next? Shall I watch Hero? Or Ranma 1/2? Aahh,, I wish I had Honey & Clover. I miss Hagu. Kawaaaiii.. ;)
I didn't sleep well last night. My cat Ayumi is in heat now. So she keep meowing, searching for boyfriend. *sigh*
After I woke my husband, I thought of taking a nap. It was around 6 a.m, right after the azan. I had this nightmare. I went to my uncle's house with Mak, somehow, I left her there and I went back. If I'm not mistaken, she went out somewhere with her friends after visiting my uncle. She promised to call me. But she never called. I tried to call her, she didn't pick-up, and out of sudden, her friend knocked my door and she was crying. She told me Mak had an accident, she was bleeding and she was dead. When I open the door, I saw a van parked in front of my house, and the guys were carrying Mak. I ran and scream, calling her name. But she has GONE! Motionless, lifeless. Then I woke up.
I hope Mak is OK. I'm going to call her later this afternoon.
My niece called me yesterday, asking if I would go to Langkawi with my family. I'm not sure if I can join them actually. I might have to standby on Sundays. She was a bit disappointed, because the trip will be on the day after her 10th birthday. She thought I could celebrate her birthday there and of course with present. But the most interesting conversation went like this:
Me : How am I supposed to go to Langkawi?
Lisa : You can take flight and join me of course.
Me : But the doctor said I can't take flight anymore. What if I gave birth on the flight?
Lisa : Well, you can go to ER (klinik kecemasan, according to her) and deliver there.
Me : But if we're still flying how am I going to ER?
Lisa : The cabin crews will help you.
Me : But I don't think the cabin crew can lift me. I'm too heavy.
Lisa : I didn't say they have to carry you. You just walk to the ER, then they will provide wheel chair or stretcher for you.
Hahahaha.. no matter what I said, she tried her best to persuade me to go to Langkawi and not to worry at all.
I went for my second ante-natal check-up on 11th Jan, 10. My sugar level was 4.8. Pheeeww.. So I'm under control, but still I have to watch out since Mak is diabetic. I wish I could be like her, in terms of dieting.
During scanning, I could see the baby kicking. Subhanallah. The feeling was indescribable. Unfortunately my hubby wasn't there due to work commitment. Mak was accompanying me but she waited outside. I asked for the baby's picture. I showed it to my hubby, and he was stunned (i guess). I have no idea what was on his mind at that time.
I am super duper malas nak update actually. Oh well, I have been very busy especially during school holidays. It's getting quiet now, since school is about to reopen.
There were lots of things happened for the past few months. Should I list them down? Oh well, here we go..
1- I'm pregnant. My hubby was not ready for a baby, but I insisted to have at least ONE. But I think he's quite excited about it. Due date? On Kak Yang's birthday, 21st June, 2010.
2- My hubby got 2 months contract for MMU, and later extended for another 10 months. Yeay! Rezeki baby, perhaps! ;)
3- I went for an interview, it was unsuccessful. I have no idea what was the reason, may be because I have never trained people before or may be because I'm pregnant or may be I'm not "hot" enough. Hahaha.. anyway thanks Hazim for reminding me that "hot" part.
4- I'm currently looking for a new house.
5- Tompok is getting manja with me. He was a bit marah when my hubby pick him up, but when I was alone, whenever I saw him and called him, he will come to my direction and start terguling-guling. He reminds me of Boy a lot. Oh God, how I miss that Boy.
6- We just bought food processor, wet/dry vacuum and jetwash. Between these three items, I love food processor the most.
7- I have not been cooking for like 2 months! I missed cooking actually and getting tired of eating outside. I'm wondering how people can stand that for their whole life? And my hubby, so pitty.. but the good part is, he's loosing weight. :D
8- I went for my first ante-natal check-up. The baby exactly 3 months on that day. After check-up, I brought Mak to pasar borong Selangor, just to treated her. We were there at 1.30 p.m. Luckily there were still few stall still operating, and we were lucky. The fish are not bad. She end up borong few types of fish and she bought me crabs! She even cooked it for me. Well, may be because I brought her there and that was her way to thank me. Anyway, thanks Mak for the crab and ikan terubuk. And before we left she whispered to me "Ina, nanti kita datang lagi sini ek?" Well, insya-Allah, I will bring her again after my 2nd check-up session.
9- We were running out of Blackwood! Gara-gara terlepas deadline untuk order and waiting for my hubby's pay cheque. Lucky enough Nurul still had 2kgs extra, so I quickly went to her place to get it. Itupun now totally finish. Now my babies are on Friskies diet. Which I hate it. Their poo will be very smelly and Kuriyu-kun esp also doesn't like it much. He's a bit monyok lately. Pity him. Don't worry, I will get our stock from auntie Nurul this Saturday.
10- I have not bought any maternity dress yet. I have not even sent materials to my tailor for my uniform. And my uniform now, is getting tighter. :D
